Is honesty really - REALLY - the best policy?

Lately, I've had a little bit of an inner struggle regarding the direction of this blog. Now that I am (somewhat) employed, do I keep this blog up and running? Although I definitely do plan to document my internship throughout the summer and - hopefully - its eventual transformation into a job, I can't really write about my simultaneous search for something more full-time when my employers are aware of my online place of rambling. Disclaimer: yes, I am hoping for an offer from the company that I will intern for starting on Tuesday, but for security's sake, I still intend to apply for other positions, just in case. The scramble continues.

But, if I don't feel as if I can be fully honest about the continuation of my job search, what can I write about? Despite the unhealthy level of enjoyment I take in reading about the inner lives of celebrities, I get pretty uncomfortable when it comes to writing about my own friendships and relationships. As much as I respect honesty - and truthfully believe that exposing, vulnerable pieces are the best kind - when putting myself out there into the WWW, how much honesty is too much? I realize that this double-standard is unfair, but I just know I would wind up hurting someone's feelings. I also might make myself look like a jackass. I'm not sure which is worse.

Today, I had lunch with a friend of mine from school who had studied abroad in Rome last semester (as did I, a little over a year ago). After a half-hour of joint nostalgia, she told me that a girl her age in my sorority - one grade below myself - was about to film a pilot for a main cable network about her blog. Her blog is all about sex, how much she engages in it, and the answers to questions her many readers might have about it. In between our laughter, though, about how it was about time this girl got on a TV show and how it might reflect upon our sorority, I had some thoughts. Jealous thoughts.

I would absolutely love to have the kind of readership that this future reality starlet (oxymoron?) has. And it's only going to get bigger if this show actually gets picked up. I created this blog because I love to write, and although I don't necessarily update the site that often, I would like to know that others care about what I have to say, even if it's just my friends and family. But then, I realized: this girl's blog highlights all of her sexual escapades in explicit detail. Mine has a picture of scrambled eggs on the top banner. I guess I plead no contest?

Yeah, I acknowledge the fact that when it comes to writing - whether it's political journalism, tweeting about the LOST finale (still so many questions!), or mommy blogging, it's much better to be honest. Readers will respect you for it, whether they agree or disagree with you. And that's why I try to be as honest as possible when I write here. I just care too much about my future, including my career path, my friendships, etc., to publish every thought that pops into my head, no matter who it will offend. Call me chicken; as a writer, I deserve it. But if exposing my relationships in the most extreme detail is really all that will give me my Julie and Julia blog-turned-national-phenomenon moment, then I guess I'm okay with kissing that dream goodbye.

Taking the plunge

Okay, it's been FAR too long since my last post. What gives?

Well, what gives is that I've been out trying to live my life the best way that a second-semester senior can only know how. These past couple of weeks, my days have been filled with laying in sunshine, green beer, and, yes, attempting to complete (on an A-level) a few major assignments that I must fulfill before I graduate. "The Scramble" isn't just about getting her ass on full-time payroll after graduation, people. I've just been spending more time doing and less time writing about it.

But, good news! That internship interview last week went very well, and the folks over there called me the very next day to offer me a second-round. Woohoo! Only problem is, the second-round interviews are to be held at their New York office. The woman from HR that I have been corresponding with assured me that the communications/media consulting firm would be happy to arrange a series of phone interviews instead, and that this would not interfere with any final decisions.

I wasn't born yesterday. I know that, if I show up in person, groomed to perfection, with a glittering smile and stunning composure (this is my blog here and I can write about any fantasy world I damn choose), they would be fools to turn me away.

But after looking into flights, they didn't exactly cost peanuts. Also - and I feel like a brat for admitting this - but I honestly wondered if I would feel like I was missing out if I opted to leave school during one of my last few precious weeks left. Plus, despite my previous, more positive professed stance on internships, I have to admit that I was a bit hesitant to fly to New York just for an internship interview; I might not even get the internship, and even if I do, I might not get a full-time offer after that.

Luckily, my parents are dying for me to get/take this internship. Obviously, I'm very into the program also, but sometimes, it's that extra support that counts. In other words, after chatting with Harriet and Peter, we decided that flying out to NYC was definitely an investment to make. I leave April 7th, and I'm actually very excited. I even tacked an extra day of room onto the trip, so that I could hopefully schedule some other meetings. I'm just waiting on some return e-mails. And waiting...

As the semester winds down, I've learned that a full-time job offer isn't exactly necessary for post-graduate success. I have friends attending graduate school, friends teaching in Israel for a year, and friends who don't have the slightest idea where the hell they'll wind up. Although my admittedly type-A personality would love to have the anxiety of potential unemployment taken off my shoulders, I have confidence that in the long run, things will work out. In the meantime, all I can do is keep on truckin' with my applications, and enjoy my last 6 weeks of college - even if it means spending a little less time on this blog.

Why I (Should) Blog

I'm pretty psyched about this semester. I, believe it or not, actually really enjoy all of my classes that I'm taking. I truly feel like each one pertains to both my interests and my career goals - a double whammy!

Last week, for my Technology and the Humanities class, we read Andrew Sullivan's piece, "Why I Blog". It really got me thinking - why do I blog?

Yes, I blog to vill a void I felt has been left open in the online world, that void being an open forum (led my me, duh) on the painstaking process of finding one's first post-grad job. Yes, I blog to share resources and offer experiences for fellow college students (and hopefully others) to empathize with. And yeah, I'll admit that I blog because it's somewhat therapeutic to get all my thoughts out on the table that is the online world. But do all of these factors really make this blog worth it, even if I don't blog nearly as often as I want to/should? If I want to communicate with readers, I have to have some readers in the first place, right? And I know I personally wouldn't continue reading something that only uploads new content only every two weeks.

Ally - one of my precious few regular readers (this far, wink) - told me last night that she enjoys my blog more when I veer off course, when I blab about stuff that isn't necessarily job-related. Complaining about my career ventures, she told me, might sometimes even produce more anxiety within readers. Hmmm.

So, I've decided to really make an effort to blog more. Really. I know I've said this before, but I think that the reason I've held back is because of my previously proclaimed theme of this blog, a theme that I deeply care about. Although I do wish to adhere to this theme from time to time, in the past, I think that because my posts "had" to be somewhat informative, writing here felt like a minor chore.

My promise to you, dear readers, is that I will be more honest about my daily life and all that goes on within it, including interviews, rejections, and the creation of new contacts. But there will be less of a limit upon this. All that I ask of you is to comment! I really do want to hear what you guys think - maybe you can offer me some advice (or make me laugh, cry, or want to throw my computer out my second-story window). As Sullivan says, "Rudeness, in any case, isn't the worst thing that can happen to a blogger. Being ignored is...The conversation is the point."

Oh, and by the way, I had another phone conversation this morning with that same company from last week - things are going well. I'm not going to count my chickens before they hatch, though. But that's not my point anymore! Consider this blog a little less anxiety and a little more fun.

The job market today: sour, but also sweet

Related to what I said yesterday about getting your friends and family involved in the job search resource hunt, my friend Ali pointed me to this link this morning, subject field: "thought you might find this interesting :)".

The page consists of a review for the recently-released documentary, Lemonade, detailing the paths of several individuals recently let go from their jobs in the advertising industry. Specifically, Phil Johnson highlights how the advertising community rallied around the project, celebrating the creative abilities of those involved (or not, anymore), in their industry. While I'm not directly involved in the advertising world, I think that this movie could still be pretty damn inspiring, conveying that we have the potential to lead successful lives within more than one career. Our jobs can't define us, because if we lose these jobs, we would have nothing left; Lemonade illustrates this. There's other stuff out there that matters, regardless of career path. Tonight, that stuff consists of Chinese food and dancing.

As the movie is playing in Cambridge, I'd definitely like to see it when I return home for December break. Oh, and by the way, everyone should check out the blog that Ali contributes to, which covers all sorts of sports from a female perspective!

Why I hope to be a poster child for the anti-senioritis movement (that I just made up). At least until second semester.

Since I have been on a mission lately to get as much non-school-related stuff done as possible before classes start next week, (we can call it a "conscientious" streak), I decided to visit my school's Career Center the other day with two of my friends. One of them is, like myself, hoping to find herself a sick job when she graduates - which she absolutely will, considering that she's very smart, qualified, and generally amazing. I'm actually currently holding date screenings for her, Khloe Kardashian style, and there's a line around the corner. If you're lucky, she may put on a show at the end of the auditions where she'll perform her infamous choreographical replication of "The Nicest Kids in Town" from Hairspray.

Anyway.

The other friend I visited the Career Center with has recently decided on a defined career choice (I'm seething with jealousy) and is looking to apply to grad school. She's equally awesome of course. Basically, the three of us wanted to go to the Career Center to get some extra help editing our resumes in one way or another. My issue: after adding in all of the great stuff I learned at my web marketing internship last summer, my resume is almost two pages long. I know, I know, I'm just such an incredibly experienced, cultured, all-around perfect candidate for any job and everything on my resume just attests to that fact. Sure. But two pages long? Not so easy on the eyes. Yeah, some interviewers have asked me about random experiences on that second page, but in general, I think that I need to make myself as marketable as possible on that first page, and trim off any unnecessary fat.

When I sat down with my assigned advisors (one was training, I think), the first thing I noticed is that they were my age. Oh! I just remembered that one of them was standing behind me at the football game today - obligatory "go blue"! This first impression didn't exactly sit well with me, because I honestly wonder what they know about finding a job that I don't already. I would like to say that I've been lucky enough to have had some pretty wonderful internships/jobs these past four years, so the confident side of me thinks that I know a little something about this process. As the meeting went on, my opinion didn't really change. Sure, the two girls offered me a few helpful hints, which was nice, but ultimately, I realized that what I really need to do is sit down and take some time to myself to decide what to take out. Only one of my friends left the Career Center that day without feelings of frustration. Needless to say, I obviously chose to pretend I didn't see my advisor at the game.

However, the meeting wasn't a total waste of time. I did get a few specific ideas on what to take out of my resume, and the two girls showed me around the Career Center website and gave me a handy little sheet with resume samples. Maybe the sheer fact that this was an actual appointment forced me to take the time to review this stuff. The bottom line? I need to stop acting like a know-it-all and be a tiny bit more open to help from others. Personally, I think that the best help in this department comes from my dad, who really specializes in this human resources find-me-something-that'll-bring-home-the-bacon sort of thing. But these resources are only helpful if I actually take advantage of them. My boyfriend, who has already gone through this rigorous job search and really came out on top, is, in my opinion, another great resource to have. He really utilized his school's career resources, and has to be one of the most proactive people I've ever known; I've witnessed the benefits of that. I need to be more like that.

At the risk of sounding kinda lame, we all need an extra push sometimes, even from ourselves, to do everything we can to reach our goals. I think I can, I think I can...