Is honesty really - REALLY - the best policy?

Lately, I've had a little bit of an inner struggle regarding the direction of this blog. Now that I am (somewhat) employed, do I keep this blog up and running? Although I definitely do plan to document my internship throughout the summer and - hopefully - its eventual transformation into a job, I can't really write about my simultaneous search for something more full-time when my employers are aware of my online place of rambling. Disclaimer: yes, I am hoping for an offer from the company that I will intern for starting on Tuesday, but for security's sake, I still intend to apply for other positions, just in case. The scramble continues.

But, if I don't feel as if I can be fully honest about the continuation of my job search, what can I write about? Despite the unhealthy level of enjoyment I take in reading about the inner lives of celebrities, I get pretty uncomfortable when it comes to writing about my own friendships and relationships. As much as I respect honesty - and truthfully believe that exposing, vulnerable pieces are the best kind - when putting myself out there into the WWW, how much honesty is too much? I realize that this double-standard is unfair, but I just know I would wind up hurting someone's feelings. I also might make myself look like a jackass. I'm not sure which is worse.

Today, I had lunch with a friend of mine from school who had studied abroad in Rome last semester (as did I, a little over a year ago). After a half-hour of joint nostalgia, she told me that a girl her age in my sorority - one grade below myself - was about to film a pilot for a main cable network about her blog. Her blog is all about sex, how much she engages in it, and the answers to questions her many readers might have about it. In between our laughter, though, about how it was about time this girl got on a TV show and how it might reflect upon our sorority, I had some thoughts. Jealous thoughts.

I would absolutely love to have the kind of readership that this future reality starlet (oxymoron?) has. And it's only going to get bigger if this show actually gets picked up. I created this blog because I love to write, and although I don't necessarily update the site that often, I would like to know that others care about what I have to say, even if it's just my friends and family. But then, I realized: this girl's blog highlights all of her sexual escapades in explicit detail. Mine has a picture of scrambled eggs on the top banner. I guess I plead no contest?

Yeah, I acknowledge the fact that when it comes to writing - whether it's political journalism, tweeting about the LOST finale (still so many questions!), or mommy blogging, it's much better to be honest. Readers will respect you for it, whether they agree or disagree with you. And that's why I try to be as honest as possible when I write here. I just care too much about my future, including my career path, my friendships, etc., to publish every thought that pops into my head, no matter who it will offend. Call me chicken; as a writer, I deserve it. But if exposing my relationships in the most extreme detail is really all that will give me my Julie and Julia blog-turned-national-phenomenon moment, then I guess I'm okay with kissing that dream goodbye.

Where I've been, and where I'm going

One last "Hail to the Victors" at graduation

Guess what! I'm back! In fact, I didn't really go anywhere - neither did this blog, figuratively speaking, but that's besides the point. So, so much has been going on over these last few weeks (months? has it really been that long?) that I really have been too busy to blog, and seriously, that's the truth. And you know what? I'm not at all apologizing for this. My lost blogging minutes were spent studying for finals, applying for jobs, and doing absolutely nothing with my best friends while we were all actually in the same place. Oh, and I also watched President Obama deliver my commencement speech as I became a college graduate. NBD.

Here's some actual news: I got the internship! You know, the one I flew to New York to interview for. I was quite hesitant to take this position, since I'm basically getting paid nothing and that city ain't cheap; furthermore, although it's been hinted multiple times that I could get a full-time offer after the summer, this by no means is a guarantee. For type-A moi, this is no good. I want the security of an actual job, and I've been working my ass off to get one all year. Is that so much to ask for?

Apparently, it is. Although I did accept the internship I have continued to interview at other places, because I really do believe one should always keep his/her options open. I'm not sure if I'd take another job at this point, since I've already settled on the idea of this internship in New York, but you never know. Anyway, I spent 3 hours (!) at this one digital marketing agency the other day. Everyone seemed totally awesome, and I'm pretty sure they liked me back. Turns out, they did like me, but I guess not enough to actually offer me an entry-level position. "We do have a great internship, though." Ugh.

I've also been interviewing with an educational publishing company right here in Boston. Like I said, I've already wrapped my head around the idea of being in New York for this summer and possibly beyond, but, I have to admit, I'm really warming up to the concept of being in Boston. Maybe it's because I just found out that two of my best friends will be here after they graduate. Maybe it's because although he's looking for jobs in New York (anyone know of any open i-banking analyst positions?), my boyfriend might still be in Boston. Or, maybe it's just because I bought some really cute shoes on Newbury St. the other day. Whatever.

Bottom line is, why limit myself? Although I absolutely love New York City and I do hope I wind up there, I shouldn't consider it the be-all-end-all of locations to live my life in. That decision will be made - when the time comes - based upon the job opportunities that arise, and what will truly be best for me and my career. Surprisingly, I'm okay with not knowing exactly what's next. On deck for my more immediate future plans: Going to New York tomorrow to look for summer apartment rentals, trying to read Eclipse before the next Twilight movie comes out (sorry, Vaness), and enjoying the brisket my mom is cooking tonight in honor of the whole family back together.